Willpower

The thought of what I want to do is running though my mind
But I know I must not succumb.

I have tried so hard to wean myself off this habit
As I know that it does me no good.

But the urge is still there
As strong as it always was.

The only reason I am able to fight it
Is the fact that too many people already know my secret
And they watch out for the signs.

I know that if I give in to my urges
I will disappoint them all.

I still bear the scars from the last time I succumbed to the temptation
And they watch out for new markings.

I do not want to be an object of pity any longer
I have had enough of that in my life.

I refuse to submit to these feelings and thoughts
That I must injury myself for relief from the way I am feeling.

It strains my willpower to keep up this resistance
But I know that I must do so.